Peg Leg

 

Exterior: Open Field – Day

 

(Kevin and Steve are sitting in a raft)

 

Steve: Have you ever sailed the seas?

 

Kevin: Well, I’ve worked at Sees, does that count?

 

Steve: I mean, like on an ocean.

 

Kevin: Are you kidding?  There’s fish in there!

 

Steve: Yeah.  So?

 

Kevin: They might, like, eat my leg or something.

 

Steve: But you’d be on a boat, skipper.

 

Kevin: Well, what about Peg Leg?

 

Steve: The pirate?

 

Kevin: Yeah.

 

Steve: Come on now, he’s just a myth.

 

Kevin: Na-uh!  I’ve heard him before.

 

Steve: Whatever.

 

Kevin: I swear.  That tap-pity-tap-tap of his wooden foot, it haunts me.

 

Steve: Yeah.  Sure.

 

(Bob starts walking up from behind them, no one notices)

 

Kevin: You hear that?

 

Steve: Did you fart?

 

Kevin: Not that, the tapping sound.

 

Steve: Woodpecker?

 

Bob:  Aargh!!  Stinking woman, kicking me out o’ me own ship.  Ahoy there, landlubbers.

 

Kevin: Stay away you vile demon!

 

Steve: Peg Leg?

 

Bob:  Nah…that be me brudder.

 

Kevin: Well, who are you?

 

Bob:  Seven Toed Willy, they call me.

 

Steve: Well, why aren’t you out sailing the seas?

 

Bob:  They fired me months ago.

 

Steve: I mean, like the ocean.

 

Bob:  Ship wrecked.

 

Kevin: Fix the boat the Willy.

 

Bob:  Never!!!

 

Steve: Well, you’re a pirate.  Aren’t you?

 

Bob:  Me a pirate?  You kidding?  There’s fish out there.

 

Kevin: That’s what I’m saying (while fading out)

 

 

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