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Two Wrongs Make a Right
The Tutor
Brian: Do you hear me?
Steve: Yeah.
Brian: You sure you understand?
Steve: No.
Brian: Alright, let’s try this again.
Steve: Okay.
Brian: If you multiply a positive by a positive what do you get?
Steve: Depends on the numbers.
Brian: Do you end up with a positive or negative number?
Steve: A positive.
Brian: Why?
Steve: Because a positive times a positive is a positive?
Brian: Exactly, so what happens when you multiply a negative by a negative?
Steve: You’d get a negative.
Brian: No, you would get a positive.
Steve: How so?
Brian: Because a negative times a negative is a positive.
Steve: But two wrongs don’t make a right.
Brian: Exponentially they do.
Steve: (Beat) So you’re saying that if one were to wrong me and in return I wronged them twice as much, it would be justified?
Brian: Mathematically speaking.
Steve: Well, what about on the literal level?
Brian: I’ve heard it said that mathematics is the universal language.
Steve: I believe I’m beginning to understand.
Steve: Ha! What an idiot!
Kevin: Look. You better watch yourself.
Steve: I can’t. I’m too busy staring at a fool.
Kevin: I have half a mind to give you a can of peas.
Steve: Peas? I don’t get it.
Kevin: Black-eyed peas.
Steve: Ha! That was the most retard—Ouchie!
(Steve falls while Kevin beats him senseless)
(Kevin walking down sidewalk; Steve charges at him with a bat and swings…Fade)
(Steve patting the dirt down on an unmarked grave)
(Steve in prison)
Steve: It’s mathematics! I swear! I merely righted his wrongs…(sniff) (Beat) (crying)
Deep Voice: You want me to cheer you up handsome?
Steve: No!!! I hate math…
Deep Voice: Good. You can save all that loving for me.
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