Girls, Go Figure

                                                                                                L: Kevin Simmons

 

Girls are short, but they got long hair.

I won’t open doors, ‘cause it ain’t fair

That I’m expected to deviate my ways

To ensure all girls have a nice day.

 

You should because we’re cute

And we never burp or toot.

We close our mouths while we’re chewing

And…  oh hi Fonzi!  How are you doing?

 

Girls… go figure. They always band together just take a group picture.

Girls…. Oh please.  They all wear short shorts but got big ol’ knobby knees.

Don’t try to figure, the sums get bigger.

 

They always eat all my food

Then complain that they are fat

And if I agree they (say I’m rude) (won’t let me see them nude)

Tell me what’s fair about that.

 

Girls… go figure. They always band together just take a group picture.

Girls…. Oh please.  They all wear short shorts but got big ol’ knobby knees.

Don’t try to figure, you’ll pull a trigger.

 

 

Do I look fatter in this dress?

Sure you look fat, and that dress is mat,

To bad it ain’t even a pretty one at that.

Is my hair too much a mess?

It looksa lika rat, you should’a worn a hat

You gotta comb that thing with a baseball bat.

 

If you wanna be so pretty then don’t always be so vain

Go lighter on the make-up and with the fumes the same

But don’t think I’ll treat you any better for thought

If you perceive me as a gentleman you’re wrong.  I’m not.